If the "XU" fits --- A Jodi Xu Blog

Life in Beijing ~~~ China news through my eyes ~~~ Growing pain growing joy
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Jodi @ 2008-08-08 23:56

In a city of 16 million people, it's hard to find yourself alone on Saturday nights. New bar openings, hot live bands, or speed dating parties, they all sound, oh, so tempting.

I usually have a great time at those parties. Meeting random people and having shallow conversations are something I do occasionally to prevent my brain from working too hard. But if you are going with an expectation of finding a soul mate, your odds might be low. Because the easier we can meet people, the less effort we make to keep them in our lives.
 
People living in the fast lane have turned networking into fast food, starting with a "hello" and ending with a "nice meeting you." The underlying message is: "Nice meeting you, but I have better people to meet next week." When there are too many choices, we tend to stop maintaining, because there gotta be more interesting people and better-looking guys waiting at the next corner. Networking becomes a compulsory disease.

And then there is a different situation where there is an obligation to go to the parties if a friend organized it. You want to be supportive and invited next time. In the end, you go, but you almost went like a "mercy show-up". Before long, you find yourself in a trap you have built for yourself before realizing it. Networking has become an obligation.

Call me insensitive, but I have the tendency to stay away from those obligatory parties. They say a person feels lonelier in a crowd that he/she doesn't belong. I concur and would like to add: Time is too short for "mercy show-ups." Get real, true friends don't come along in the disguise of the dim bar lights. Besides, how many friends, the kind that cares for each other’s happiness and sadness, can a person handle? Therefore, I choose to be alone on some weekend nights, knowing all the actions are going on in this great city, and knowing my heart is content by being alone.


曾经的这一天...


最新评论


酷儿他妈

2008-03-18 10:02 匿名 58.37.*.*

Life is too long, younth is too short.



bug

2008-03-20 15:44

”the easier we are able to meet people, the less effort we make to keep them in our lives“
TOO TRUE.

Bug dear, I want to maintain you.


老虎

2008-03-21 16:11 匿名 210.13.*.*

what a great blog. i feel the same as you, so many people so few true friends.  i learned alot  from an old friend of mine, a girl from Shanghai, she taught me to focus, not waste so much time. it was great advice, i owe her.



Joan

2009-01-30 11:28 匿名 98.14.*.*

hey jodi, i totally agree with your post... slowness is key in maintaining humanity in our post-modern world. i'm your real friend, and you're a real friend to those who matter! xoxo joan



LT

2009-01-31 01:38 匿名 69.64.*.*

with two background noise going on--one being interviews at NYSE, the other Lily Allen's Friday Night (jump-oh-jump music)---yes, one goes schitzafrenic in big cities. Stay sober, my babe.


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